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Are you a ray of sunshine or a dark cloud?
It goes without saying that at work, we don’t get along with everyone.
When people see you coming, what comes to mind? What feelings does your presence evoke? I don’t know about you, but growing up, there are those adults that I liked being around, and there are those that I saw coming my way and would take off in the opposite direction. For instance, there is an uncle that all of us feared. He never smiled, and even when he greeted you, the greeting was akin to a demand, a challenge that you were meant to fail. And no, he never spanked us, he just had an intimidating presence that instilled fear. And then there was the good-natured, generous uncle who would buy us treats and swing us around until we got dizzy and fell to the ground. We loved it. Ironically, these two men were brothers brought up by the same parents.
Forget uncles, let’s talk about aunties a little bit. I bet that where you come from, your aunts aren’t cut from the same cloth. There is the generous one who cooks up a feast whenever you visit her. She’s like a second mother, and you feel comfortable opening up to her, unburdening the secrets of your heart. Her opposite is the stingy, quarrelsome aunt who is also a notorious gossip who finds joy in the calamity of others and is jealous of the accomplishments of any child that isn’t hers.
Uncles and aunts aside, there is always that one person in a family who is prone to sowing seeds of discord. And when there is a decision to be made, theirs is the dissenting voice, the suspicious voice that reads hidden meaning in everything. The opposite of this person is the unifying voice of a family.
The well-loved, generous individual that brings sunshine and laughter into the room, dispelling the gloom spread by their sullen and ill-tempered sibling. We should also talk about colleagues, but only because apart from home, the other place that we spend most of our time in is our places of work.
It goes without saying that at work, we don’t get along with everyone. There is the colleague that is known to spread despondency with rumours of impending layoffs, the office gossip who spreads malicious stories about others, including the boss and fellow colleagues. And then there is the office comedian, the individual that everyone enjoys being around because of their hilarious jokes and their good-nature, factors that make time spent at work more enjoyable.
You’re probably wondering where I’m heading with this, so I’ll get right to it. We are social beings, and rely on our communities to not only survive, but also achieve our dreams and solve the diverse day-to-day challenges that we encounter in this journey called life. Singling out your character, are you the kind of person that inspires and uplifts or are you the kind that discourages and demotivates, a person that only takes and never gives?
When people see you or when your name is mentioned, what feelings do you elicit? Do your children flee to the next room when you arrive home? Do your children dread your admonishing because it cuts them to size and makes them feel insignificant and unworthy? Do your colleagues readily ask you for help or do they pass by your desk without glancing at you because you’re known not to be a team player? Do your friends avoid inviting you to get-togethers because you always claim to be broke, leaving them to pay the bill? Do people avoid your company because you’re mean-spirited and say spiteful things about others or because you’re a habitual whiner who never sees a silver lining in any situation?
I’m mostly an optimist, and therefore tend to believe that people can change and become better human beings. That I, can change and become a better person and a more valuable member of society. This Sunday, I plan to take an introspective look at myself, and identify areas that I can improve on. Je wewe?