For 21 years, Samuel Kamau Wachanga, 51, was enslaved by the demon of alcohol addiction. He was always inebriated and thought that was a cool lifestyle. But it grew to become a problem that not only affected him but his loved ones too. In the end, alcohol cost him his marriage.
Let's start at the beginning…
I was born and raised in Nakuru County. I first tasted alcohol when I was a child, because my father was fond of muratina, which he frequently brewed for his own consumption. He loved tipple very much and would brew and drink it in our home. Occasionally, he would stagger home from local pubs.
So your dad influenced your drinking behaviour?
When drunk, my dad loved to tell my siblings and me funny stories. As a child, I thought alcohol was a good thing because I could see how it was making him jovial and a good storyteller. I thought happiness was to be found either in the bottle or in his beloved homemade brew. Out of curiosity, I began experimenting by stealing a little of dad's muratina and drinking it in secret. Before long, I not only liked its taste but fell in love with the euphoria that it came with!
How young were you?
I was around 10 when I began stealing. Muratina is brewed with honey and other ingredients, which makes it somewhat tasty. I was taking it only sparingly to avoid being caught. I graduated to other, more potent forms of alcohol and realised the taste was not the same. By the time I turned 28, I had become an alcoholic. I had this misconception that alcohol was the same, including illicit ones. But I was wrong. Some brews were so strong that a single glass would knock me out.
How were you sustaining your drinking habit?
I was not in any gainful employment, so I took all odd jobs that came my way, and blew the wages instantly on drinks. The problem with many alcoholics is a lack of financial discipline. I would spend the entire day’s wages in one sitting and leave the pub in high spirits, only to have regrets when I woke up the next day to the reality that I had no coin to my name. In no time, my insatiable thirst pushed me to find new ways to obtain money, and chief among them was to lie to my parents. When I could no longer lie, I began to steal farm produce like cereals, fruits, eggs and even chicken, then blame the disappearance on mongoose or stray dogs.
How did your family view you?
Alcoholics are often a burden to the family and society. everyone knew I was an irredeemable drunkard and unproductive person who was rarely sober. It reached a point where my parents could not tolerate my behaviour and gave me a share of family land, two acres far from home, hoping I would settle down, perhaps as a farmer, and build a new life.
But they had unknowingly handed me a piece of gold, something to help me sustain my drinking habit. Shortly after my father died, and not long after being bequeathed my share of family land, I began subdividing it and selling one plot per year and drinking every coin.
That's a terrible thing to do given your future lay there…
I viewed it differently. With the land, I didn’t need to lie or steal to get money. There was no more worrying about where money would come from or begging friends to buy me a drink since I had an inheritance. As I grew older, I reasoned during sober moments that squandering every coin on alcohol was foolish. In the end, I used a small share of the proceeds from the land sale as seed capital to start a cereals business.
You never thought of settling down?
I did fall in love and even married, and was blessed with three children. That marriage lasted seven years as my wife could not put up with an alcoholic husband who rarely provided for his family and was more in chang’aa dens than with the family. She left.
But was your family there for you?
I was hardly the ideal family man, and many times I was a guest of the State during frequent police raids and my family did not know where I was. Back then, suspects were held in custody for long without being charged in court. I think the fact that they looked for me whenever I went missing means they cared about me.
Would you say you were a carefree drinker?
Not really. The endless party after party or club hopping and camping in chang'aa dens didn’t last forever. My entire two-acre inheritance was gone in a flash, leaving me with a small piece where my family house stood. The business I was running collapsed due to poor financial management, and with no other source of income, I sold the family house as well and we became tenants. We were a big laughing stock. Although I had subjected my family to a life of suffering, this was the lowest of the lows. Other embarrassing lows for my family would be the instances when they would be called to collect me while I was lying in a ditch on my way home. It was also humiliating to be fed by my spouse when I was unable to provide.
And they endured it all?
When we moved from landowners to tenants overnight, I knew the marriage had hit rock bottom. Not only was I an irresponsible family head, but at one point I'd been locked up for assaulting my wife while drunk. I would humiliate her by leaking crucial family secrets to our neighbours. She eventually took the children and left.
How did you pick the pieces?
Home, they say, is always the best. I returned to my parents’ home and stayed there for five years. This was not that homecoming of a prodigal son seeking forgiveness, but that of a family thorn, for I continued stealing. This time I graduated into a big thief. Sacks of maize and beans disappeared from the store and chicken numbers dwindled. I would dismantle anything metallic, cut it into pieces and sell it as scrap metal. At one point, I slaughtered a calf and sold the meat at a chang’aa den to fellow drunkards at a throwaway price.
What about your siblings?
Of all my siblings, it seemed I was the one who took the path of ruin, but little did I know, two of my young brothers were also in it. Unfortunately, the first one succumbed to kidney failure after taking too much illegal liquor, mainly chang’aa. I remember attending his funeral ceremony in a drunken state. I hardly saw his coffin. When I sobered up many hours later, I was devastated by his death and knew I too would end up in a similar way unless I changed.
The second one passed on recently due to complications arising from alcohol abuse. I had by then sunk to the abysmal depths that everything alcoholic was welcome. I could hardly function without it. I began selling personal property. I had given up in life and only saw hopelessness everywhere.
What did you do to try and change your life?
They say life begins at 40. And when I clocked that age, I got a renewed desire to fight for freedom from alcoholism.
The turning point was when I bumped into an old friend with whom I used to drink, who had quit the bottle. I was surprised by his complete turnaround, and he referred me to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings. I believe an addict or an alcoholic must seek help from a former addict. I went to rehab for three months before undergoing Drug Addiction Counselling Training for nine months.
While in recovery, I became an alcoholic and drug addict counsellor and was in that profession for three years before quitting to pursue business interests. I am currently a businessman in Gilgil, Nakuru County, where I live. I have since remarried and have two children. I wasted 21 years on alcoholism, but I am now 11 years sober!
Advice you can give to someone struggling with alcohol use disorder?
The first sip may not be sweet to the tongue, but addiction will develop along the way. And to satisfy that addiction, the user will go to the extreme of stealing, selling everything, taking unnecessary loans, neglecting family and ending in poverty. To everything, there’s a price to pay. My biggest regret is not making wise investment decisions when I sold my inheritance. I’m now an entrepreneur, but I had to start from scratch to find capital.
